Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior |
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by: Kerry Patterson List Price: $28.00 Amazon.com's Price: $18.48 You Save: $9.52 (34%)Prices subject to change. Availability: Usually ships in 24 hours
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Binding: Audio CDDewey Decimal Number: 153.6 EAN: 9781932378825 Edition: Unabridged Format: Abridged, Audiobook ISBN: 1932378820 Label: American Media International Manufacturer: American Media International Number Of Items: 4 Publication Date: November 25, 2005 Publisher: American Media International Studio: American Media International Features:
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Editorial Review: Product Description: Whether it's reprimanding a teenager for breaking a curfew or asking the boss about a promised raise, readers will learn the hands-on skill to resolve the touchiest issues. Average Rating:
 Rating:  - Wish I had read it years agoThis is the second book by the same authors, the first being Crucial Conversations. This book expands upon the first one by examining confrontations specifically be they at home or in the workplace (or any other place). The premise of the book is that everyone can improve their ability to handle crucial confrontations if they learn to apply specific skills. Like their first book I wish I had begun studying this one a long time ago. The authors are a group of researchers who have been studying this topic for decades. Essentially what they have done is study people who are very good at dealing with crucial confrontations and compare what these highly skilled people do that is different from everyone else. The result is a detailed step-by-step guide that teaches the principles for handling these situations so that they result in successful resolution of the problem and enhance the interpersonal relationship. Crucial Confrontations is full of examples from the author's collective case studies. These examples are integrated into every section of the book enabling the reader to immediately see the situations where the skills are put to use. Also at the end of the book the authors talk through several very difficult situations. Through it all "Crucial Confrontations" provides some deep insights into interpersonal interactions that are very enlightening. Rating: - My review will have given them 10+ starsI can't praise these authors enough. In fact, they are due for another book and I look forward to reading it. Having already read , "Influencer" and "Crucial Conversation" , I knew what to expect from these excellent writers with Crucial Confrontation. General Overview The reasons I love these books are because at the end of each book, they do a beautiful job of tying all together. For me this is extremely important. After reading 300+ pages, at the end they tell you, what does it all mean to me and how can I use these wonderful skills in my own life. They summarizes it all and give you specific examples that you can use NOW to become better skill person on handling high stake conversations or confrontations or influencing people or a group of people. They tell you to practice one specific skill a week until you get the hang of it. So many books spew theories and concepts and at the end say thank you very much and I hope you use what we just told you and you like what. How? where do I start? there is just too much information, etc, etc. On the opposite side, these incredible authors tell you exactly how to use the skills, they will say if there are two things you walk away from this book, they are, (example in this book, establish safety and describe the gap) and give you examples. There is so much I can say and praise these three books and especially Crucial Confrontation( my favorite)but I say only that I strongly recommend for you to pick one up and find out for yourself. Crucial Confrontation There is a three concept model that you use and these are the skills that good and excellent practitioners use when there is a crucial confrontation. The model has three component of Confrontation: The Before, The During and The After- with a Side Bar for unexpected contingencies The Before: This is when you plan how you going to confront this person, who betray your trust, or , started rumors or is out to get you. Is the WHAT and IF concept. WHAT exactly happened, and WHAT issue are you going to confront-get the facts, and usually there are many issues involved, that need to be confronted , they talked bad about you, they told a specific lie , but I believe the bigger issue is the relationship, this is a person who you trusted and is lying about you, The confrontation many times is the relationship, and that is what should be confronted. Also, it talks IF , you should confront the person. Is it worth it? what will you lose if you don't, how much is it bothering you. The second part of the equation, is not to get angry , you have to leave your emotions out of it. This is done what the authors call, MASTER MY STORY, think of reasons why this person is doing it ( besides being just evil), the question to ask , why would a decent rational person do this. The idea is to make the person , human and not a villain and it that way to approach it in a more normal conversation and not going in there half cocked and ready to do battle. Real important in this phase is to ask yourself: What do I really want out of this confrontation? This will keep you focus. Also, a technique you can use in this phase is called CPR: C=Content( facts) P=Pattern( this is the second time) last R= relationship(trust). During the confrontation: the authors called it, DESCRIBE THE GAP. this is where you tell the story (facts) not conclusions, just the facts-of what is expected and what happened. The most important part of this is to create safety. Safety is created by stating the mutual purpose you both have and thinking before hand -what is the worse this person think I am saying and use contrast to say what you mean and not mean like I'm not accusing you of lying but I want to get the facts. Start with the facts (how you start, the first 10 seconds are crucial and set the tone for the confrontation it should start and end with a tentative question) and by ending with a question, it helps diagnose the problem. After you listen, look for motivation and ability. Make it motivating and make it easy for them and this has to do more with work , them personal relationships. The book says look at six sources of influence. After the confrontation- AGREE ON A PLAN AND FOLLOW UP. This basically means that you can tell the person, I can count on you for support - most important, Who does what , when and who will follow up and ask the question, are we leaving out any barriers or unforeseen things. Let discuss this in 30 days and we where we are, this is very important-remember mutual purpose. And the side bar, STAY FOCUS AND FLEXIBLE, and what that means, they might throw in another problem and you have to decide deal with the new problem, is it more serious (if you do, you bookmark the original problem and say we'll get back to that later, let discuss this new situation I was not aware of) , if the new ... Read More Rating: - LIFE CHANGINGING BOOKTHIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE ( WORK,RELATIONSHIPS AT HOME,FRIENDS),IF YOU UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE THE SKILLS DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK.IT CHANGED MY LIFE.MANY THANKS TO THE AUTHORS. Rating: - Crucial Confrontations - time well spentThis is a very helpful book. The writing is a bit rough, but the message is essential. If you are ready to put in some real work to relationshops and improve them, this book gives you some useful tools. Highly recomend it. Rating: - An excellent approach to interacting managementI had a wonderful time reading the book (and taking notes). It reminded me of the multiple occasions in which I have failed for lack of skills, but also showed me that there is a methodology to follow next time I have to confront a violated expectation (probably within the next five minutes) Browse for similar items by category: Click to Display |
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